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The Onion / Green beans for guns

Agent 2 seems pretty consistent in detecting satirical content, without being told it's from The Onion.

Segment 1

Claiming that the recent spate of mass shootings gave them no choice but to stand up and try to make a difference, vegetable purveyor Green Giant launched a new program Friday where gun owners can trade in their firearms in exchange for green beans.

  1. This piece is written in a satirical style; its factual claims are intentionally fictitious or exaggerated. Deadpan report of an implausible gun‑for‑green‑beans program signals satirical framing rather than straight news. Evidence: “trade in their firearms in exchange for green beans”
This piece is written in a satirical style; its factual claims are intentionally fictitious or exaggerated[1]
trade in their firearms in exchange for green beans
effect · medium · conf 86%
Segment 2

“These kinds of weapons have no place on the street or in our homes, which is why Green Giant is stepping up and offering 25 pounds of green beans for any semi-automatic weapon turned over to us,” said spokesperson Gina Sorpino, adding that a new ad campaign running in every major market promised gun owners who turned in multiple weapons could receive premium products like their Italian herb vegetable medley and fire-roasted sautéed zucchini.

No effects
Segment 3

“We don’t want to force people to give up their guns, and we think our flavorful, healthy green beans are just the incentive people need. You can snack on them, put them in a casserole, even grill them. And unlike guns, the fatalities caused by green beans are almost non-existent. We hope gun owners will join Green Giant in building a safer world for our children.”

No effects
Segment 4

At press time, Green Giant had discontinued the program after receiving over 5 million death threats.

  1. This piece is written in a satirical style; its factual claims are intentionally fictitious or exaggerated. Hyperbolic “over 5 million death threats” in a brief kicker reinforces satirical, exaggerated framing. Evidence: “over 5 million death threats”
This piece is written in a satirical style; its factual claims are intentionally fictitious or exaggerated[1]
over 5 million death threats
effect · medium · conf 80%
Show raw Agent 2 snapshot payload
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